The Warning

Jun 13th 2008
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Jim Thomas and John Thomas, the writers of the amazing predator movie starring big Arnie himself must have been watching this rather tame though enjoyable alien-hunting-man movie when they came up with their own ‘innovative idea’ for Predator. I mean come on,

The big bad guys are both aliens.
They’ve both come to earth to hunt humans.
They’re both super strong and kick human ass with relative ease
They both hang us up as trophies when they kill us, the only difference is that one skins us and one apparently dresses us.
They both throw flying discs to kill their prey; one disc is made of a strange metallic alloy, the other looks like a strange flying pussy with tendrils and teeth.

You would have to be either brain-dead or George Bush not to see the striking similarities in these two movies made a mere seven years apart.

Really?

Does that also mean that Halloween and Jeremiah Johnson are basically the same movie because:

The main antagonists are both big guys, ones a peace loving settler though and the other is a stark raving fucking Lunatic who would face fuck you as soon as look at you.
The main characters are brutal killers, one for vengeance, and one for the fuck of it.
They both have a terrible family history, one murdered his family, the others family was murdered.
They both have knives most of the way through the movies.
There’s trees in the background in both movies

I mean come on critics out there, grow a set of balls and start actually watching the films before you go and blindly copy every other fucking review you’ve eagerly snatched from Google that says something totally wanky like ‘the similarities are astounding’, or ‘you cant help but notice how similar the ideas are’. I watched the lion king this morning, there are trees in it, there’s trees in the warning too. Does that mean my niece shouldn’t watch the Lion King because it’s so like ‘the warning’? I mean it’s got TREES in it for fucksake, the similarities are astounding!!!
Can’t you see it…CANT YOU??!!

This film itself is pretty good actually and has a strong cast for a movie of this ilk including Jack Palance as an elderly hunter and Martin Landua as a crazy cop-shooting Vietnam vet. it’s a bit long and drawn out for my liking though, the alien looks shit close up and the killings aren’t nearly as grisly as I like them to be in a horror movie but the quirky back-story and acting keep this one above the 2/5 mark and the fact that a young David Caruso gets killed pretty early on cheered me up a little bit too.
His hair is just far too ginger to be allowed to live…

one of the bad points is that the alien close-up looks like some kind of huge mekon and is truly mired at the bottom rung of the ‘terrifying alien scale’, if all its got at its disposal are little flying parasites (quite obviously flying through the air on string!) then all jack palance and his pretty teenage kidnapee need are a giant fly-swat and a huge can of raid and its alien ass-kicking time! More importantly though how in fucking gods name do they know that “shooting the damn thing just wont work!” You’ve got a huge hunting rifle with you that kills bears and the first time you shot the alien bastard it squirted green goo for about thirty yards. in my eyes that means shooting it does actually work, and pretty damn well at that.

just remember, if it bleeds we can kill it. (or was that from another movie…)

you also really have to watch it just to see a manic and crazed looking Jack Palance running at the seven foot, parasite hurling bad guy shouting ‘ALIEN!’ at the top of his voice. Yes because if guns dont work then that surely will…

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