Puppets are creepy.
No exceptions.
So it makes sense that a horror movie with these little guys running around murderising should scare the bejesus out of you yes? No.
I don’t know if it’s meant to be funny, but it is, and it’s difficult to suspend belief so far that I could get whipped by a marionette. I don’t care how fucking creepy they are - I could fight about 90 of them.
SMASH x 90.
Terrible overbearing Casio keyboard music ruins any hint of fear inducement, adding a kooky feel to the whole piece. God bless the 80’s.
When your frontman can be some deadbeat mullet wannabe - where they turn the synth soundtrack to 11, and any hot chick can be a scientist (just add glasses). I know scientists, and you know what? They aren’t sexy - slapping big glasses on some MILF does not the scientist make. Scientists are a fucking mess. They turn to science as a way of explaining why god dealt them such a shitty hand in the coupon stakes. Point and case: two scientists fucking and the guy uses a dictaphone directly beforehand. Scientists wouldn’t do that. Actors and scriptwriters think they would, but they wouldn’t. In reality, they would never be having sex in the first place.
Also, they hint that these puppets were like children and that their nature was never intentionally evil; but if these puppets are supposed to be imbued with life to be benevolent little creatures…Why make a little S.S. Skeleton character with a hook and knife instead of hands? Idiots.
Note: I’m not a doctor, but plunging a twelve inch needle into someone’s chest is not a way to check if they’re dead - that’s a way to ensure it.
It’s not frightening by any means, but at least it tries some innovative stuff: black and white visions, decent claymation giving the cheeky little monkeys life and watch out for the psychic\empath flashbacks which are a little like Meg Ryan’s orgasm in When Harry Met Sally.
I’ll have what she’s having…
…One vision of death coming up
OFFICIAL REVIEW
When a marionette maker discovers a way to bring his puppets to life they become evil once left to their own devices
Tagline: A box of little toys has just become a gang of little terrors.
Don't take our word for it! Buy a copy of Puppet Master and see it for yourself.
Can't find a copy in the stores below? Then email our resident movie hunter and we can keep an eye out for a copy.- Get this film from Ebay
- Or take a look for it on Amazon!
No Comments