Fear Theatre - Horror Reviews

This movie is shite.
No, seriously, its absolute shite, so bad in fact that I tore off one of my own hands in anger and threw it at the television in the vain hope that I black out from blood loss before the film reaches its brain-numbingly obvious conclusion.
If you rent it to watch after I’ve told you this then that’s your fucking problem and not mine, if you’ve actually gone and purchased it to watch then your either retarded or under 18, in which case you shouldn’t be on this web site anyway, this is strictly for adults only, We use magical grown-up words here like ‘fellatio’ and ‘quim’.
You should go ask your mummy what they mean, and if she tells you, then you can come back and let me know because my mommy smacked me round the face and head when I asked.
I’m going all out here in giving this film the big zero rating because its got absolutely nothing to offer, the second rate cast try their hardest <bless> but Robert de Niro and Al Pacino at their acting best couldn’t pull a script this appalling from the gutter, the director is obviously from the same special school as the script writers (maybe they were roomies) and it sounds like they borrowed their musical score from a ‘comedy’ episode of murder she wrote.
I’m not going to waste any more time describing it when the word ‘shite’ should, and will suffice, I’ll only add that it’s a remake to the original ‘April fools day’ in name alone and doesn’t even try and stick to the same storyline.
Im starting to feel a little woozy now anyway, what with my bloody stump where my hand should be, so im off to the hospital before I……………><

OFFICIAL REVIEW

Each April Fool’s Day, fabulously wealthy young Desiree Cartier hosts the most killer coming-out parties at her to-die-for southern mansion. And this social event is never complete without one of her patented pranks. But when this year’s joke turns deadly, Desiree, her brother Blaine and five of their friends all become the targets of a twisted killer who begins hunting them down one by one in this chilling tale of seduction, betrayal and revenge.

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